I am still alive!!

Life is cool on the west coast but I am back on the east coast for business. I am so bored I have this week long conference but I decided to come earlier for the weekend to hang out with some friends that I have in town. My oh my how people change. Or maybe I am the one who changed.

I have been super busy travelling for work, getting up to speed on my new position and trying to develop a new relationship. All is great on that front. There have been some issues but only one major one that really made me second guess this relationship and this whole move.
You have no idea the pressure out there to be physically fit...or shall I say thin. Now let me clarify. Being overweight, not unhealthy, is the biggest sin you could commit out there. Ace and I as an interracial couple doesn't seem to draw as much attention as me being a fattie and him being a hottie. I will say I have lost some weight just because Ace and I are super active and this guy rarely eats out, buys organic produce, rarely drinks alcohol and just takes care of himself. It rubs off. I am healthier and happier because of it. I can shop pretty much anywhere but I still have my black girl ass and thighs. I never really went on a diet just discovered a new way of eating and living. I always used to work out but my intention wasn't really to lose weight. I was content with being heavy and being able to swim, jog, play tennis, hike, do step class but I ate whatever the hell I wanted. Dessert, cookies, liquor,cheeseburgers, pizza. I still eat crap like that but for instance I eat turkey burgers or buffalo burgers, or veggie burgers with fat free cheese or soy cheese. Plus I don't sit still enough to binge on chips like I used to. There is always some function or event with Ace and his networking stiff collar crowd and the weather is always nice so we go rollerblading and play tennis and go camping. It's unbelievable how much time I spend not in the house or in a bar. Before I knew it I lost like 40 lbs. I swear I was not trying.

One day when I was shopping I headed into my signature Plus size store (which I had to drive hella far for) and I grabbed the smallest size there and it was too big. They love us in that store because Ace would sit in a comfy chair and I would model different looks for him. He would give thumbs up and thumbs down or better yet say that makes me hard or that makes me limp. (he is a clown).

Ace was always complimentary about my body but I never really believed him. Not because I don't think men found me attractive but I was still getting over the fact that Ace was into someone like me. I mean dudes like him settle down with bitches like Jessica Simpson. And now that my body is transforming I think he enjoys this a little more. It isn't like my confidence has improved or my self esteem has made leaps..I have always loved myself. He insist that it is like getting a new girlfriend but keeping the same ol' me. He laughs that most men complain that their girlfriends gain weight and not lose. Either way health is my ultimate goal. The day I start counting calories and depriving myself of carbs is the day I will kick my own ass.

All is going well but I have become bitter that I am slowly creepy into the "average" size catergory. I detest all the things people assume about you and I have become prevvy to alot of shit that "smaller" people say about bigger people behind their backs. I don't want to be apart of that crowd, so I have had to check a number of people out here on numerous occasions. Everything is so superficial, I don't think I can make a life for myself out here. I feel like a visitor and I am still proud to be fat even though I am not as fat as I used to be. Fuck these people. As a matter of fact one of Ace's good friend's girlfriend referred to me as fuller figured and they were afraid to tell me because they thought I would be upset. I was pissed, but not because of how she described me but because she thought that was an insult. BITCH! That's right I have boobs and a high ass and thick muscular thighs, and I caught your man looking at my ass on multiple occasions. You have implants that look like rocks and you need to go back to Rhode Island or wherever the fuck your bama ass came from. One time when we first met, she had on a cute dress and I asked her where she got it and she told me the store and was like "but I don't know if they sell things in your size" Let me worry about that bitch! If I think the dress is fly enough I can buy two and sew them together. I make enough money to buy 10 of those dresses.
I just don't belong here, Ace knows it and I know it. I am east coast all the fuckin way. Or maybe it is just the circle of priveledge white folks Ace hangs out in. I don't have patience for people that consider Serena Williams fat and think Nicole Richie is hot. I need real people and they so few and far between out there.

Living My Life Like It's Golden

Well I have been so busy. Looking for a new job and trying to move. The plan as of now is for me to move to or closer to the same city that my awesome boyfriend lives in. haha Who knows when or if that is going to happen but that is where we stand as of today.
Hey how do I get these fuckin bots to stop leaving comments on my damn blog. It was a bitch to delete those comments.
Oh yeah, showed Ace the blog. He didn't know wheter to cry, laugh, be pissed off, or really psyched that he was entered into it. Whenever we have sex he says he feels pressured to do something amazing so it will get written up. I told him I won't share intimate details of our sexcapades, well unless we break up. lol
He already knew he was dealing with a wild one when we decided to make this thing a go.
A part of me feels like I am sacrificing too much of myself to be with him. But I can easily find a job out in San Diego doing what I do. I have a three interviews and offers have come in with great relocation packages. What if I get there and I resent him. I don't want to grow up just yet.
You know the funniest things tend to happen when you are off the market. Men just appear out of the blue. Cocks in hand wanting to tongue your clit for hours with no reciprocation. haha
It's true.
All I know I am not moving in with him. Although it would save money and we would spend alot of time together I am not playing house for no man. I refuse to be the live in bitch. Pussy anytime you want, dinner ready, house clean and no ring. My mother would kill me.
Ah its late and I am exhausted from traveling. I spent the long weekend in San Diego and I still have not gained my time back. I think we are moving a bit fast. But when you know, you know. At least that is what everyone is telling me.
Besides I have sucked or fucked many a dick in this city. I need to get the hell out of dodge fast.

WTF?!? I have a heart

Well turns out I am not as heartless as I initially planned. I am on a mission, you see. Live my life the way I want to live it for the next 5 years. I plan to fuck who I want, do what I want, go where I want, basically have a crap load of fun. I work out, treat myself to spa visits, manicures, pedicures, read alot of self help books, eat really good food. I am making a transformation but the stipulation was I am suppose to only care for me, myself and I. Basically after a bad break up I turned a new leaf, chopped off all my hair, decided to treat men like sexual objects (joking...sorta) and decided to love myself and no one else. I figured I was attracting shit guys cause I felt like shit. So I took a major dose of self esteem and hit the ground running. I have a new sense of myself and a great amount of respect for life and blessings in general. I am suppose to be working on me to be the best me I can be
A strange turn of events have really got me wondering if I even know what the fuck I am talking about. If this wall I placed around my heart really worth taking down. The situation involves Ace and I and "our relationship". Now first I have never referred to it as such until now. He initiated that bullshit.
This past weekend after writing my previous post. I get a call from Ace. The first 10 mins were of the usual variety. Work was stressful..blah, I'm so busy...blah, I got an awesome deal on ebay on this bike....blah. Typical conversation. He then starts in on, wishing I was closer. I immediately turn the conversation into something sexual. Because I assumed with that statement the he actually wanted me to be closer so we could fuck. This conversation turned into something I was not anticipating. Ace was catching feelings. I refused to accept it at the time and told him it was very easy to "fall" for someone that you couldn't possibly have a real relationship with. "Oh I really like this girl but she lives hundreds of miles away, life isn't fair umph." I communicated that I had no intentions of having a relationship with anyone, especially someone in another time zone. This was not what he wanted to hear. I mean I really liked Ace in college. He was a crush and now years later when we have no chance of becoming anything he is "interested". I hung up angry that he decided to drop such a useless bomb on my Friday night. I was hoping to hook up with some hottie from my black book. Okay let me be honest. I was hoping to hear from Ace, have a 5 hour conversation and then go to bed. I was so sad. Talk about missing the boat. I mean what was he thinking. He knew about my 5 year commitment to myself, my journey, my goals. We discussed my past relationships, my new sexual revolution and yet he still brought this up. argh. Well he called back at like midnight my time....I'll set the scene for you. I have conditioner in my hair while muncing on white cheddar rice cakes and drinking a bottle of red wine and watching some movie I ordered on Pay Per View. Phone rings. Its Ace. " I'm coming to see you!" uh when, i ask thinking he means in about a few weeks, maybe labor day. "Tomorrow". "I have all these free miles I need to see you. I want you in my life." Who was I to say no. Some hot guy wants to come visit me to discuss and explore our "future" together. wowzers. After getting off the phone I realized I looked a hot mess, my place was in shambles, I had no groceries and my period if on time would be here the next day. fuck.
Truth be told, I wanted him to want me like this. I was just too afraid or something, or thought I wasnt worth it..
He arrived, we had fun the entire time he was here. Having him that close to me, in my own element was unreal. I felt like a couple. He loved my mexican pizza with boca crumbles although all the fiber gave him the runs, lol. He left two days ago and I can't stop thinking about him. I'll see him Labor Day weekend. We talked for hours while he was here and went out quite a bit. He said he felt at home with me. I expressed LOTS of concerns about this situation. I told him if he just wants to come and visit and fuck when he is here but do his own thing back home.,Let me know. Be honest. I don't have time for games and if this was just some lame attempt to make sure he has guarenteed pussy when he is in my town. He would get fucked up. For now he says he only wants to be mine and vice versa. If and when he wants anything different he would let me know.
All I can do is take his word for now and go with the flow. So it looks like I won't be fuckin anybody else for a while. goddammit! I dont know wheter to be happy or frustrated. I am very apprehensive. I think I want to be in love but it is way to early for that. you have no idea how shitty this feels.

This is going to end real bad I know it.ooh i shouldnt say that. positive affirmation.
just a small request i am putting out into the universe
Ace please don't hurt me. I don't want to lose faith in men again.

*doing the cabbage patch* I hooked up with Ace, yipee!

Well after the previous night of drama the wedding turned out to be amazing. The church was beautiful the reception was a great time. Open bar, good cake, and Ace by my side the entire day. I knew we were gonna hook up. I was all antsy, like I was gonna catch a really big fish or something. I thought of Ace as the one I would never get. I have wasted many double A batteries and changed many a pair of moist panties to the thought of Ace and that fuckin body. Ace is a nickname of course. He plays tennis and was a super athlete. He was never like a body builder just toned, tanned, and a cutie, he looked like an athlete. In fact Ace probably was a 7 if you just measured his looks but after you took into account his perfect teeth, how funny he was, and what a genuinely nice guy he turned out to be he easily became a 10. He always liked me, thought I was funny and was even teased by his friends that he liked the fat black chick. Ace was a friend of a friend, always with some random hot girl, or ugly athletic girl, kind of a serial monogamist. He enjoyed being in a relationship but when it went bad, it went really bad. LOL.

We always would bump into each other at the most random times and we would trade interesting stories about our significant others and talk for hours. He dated psychos that were just after his money mostly. Some girls were really nice but for one reason or another it didn’t work out. They figured he would become some tennis pro or just go into his father's line of work. He tried the pro thing for a while but hated the "pressure". He pretty much works in real estate and was actually voted one of the top 25 bachelors of his city. (A major metropolitan area I might add) We all got a hoot out of that one. When I got the email I was like "Son of a bitch". I knew I should have tried to date the guy. Oh well. He always seemed out of my league. I didn’t just want to fuck him you know, I could have fucked anyone. I wanted to date him and be his serious girlfriend. I wanted to be the girl on his arm that he adored. I was just a bit abrasive, vulgar and didn’t fit the mold for what Ace typically wanted in a girl, so I thought. I wasn't thin, I had a real major, I wasn't white or asian, I wasn't dainty, I wasn't particularly nice. I was me. lol. Ace would never want a girl like me. This was my thinking back in the land of insecurity. Fast forward a few years later and I just wanted to score my big fish. I had no grand illusions of what a life as Mrs. Ace would be. If the opportunity presented itself I would make it my business to take a ride on Ace. A nice fun, maybe alcohol induced ride on Ace. Luckily for me he had the same idea. I know now that Ace was a closet fatty lover. The fact that he always made an extra effort to huge me "hello" and "goodbye", the hugs lasted too long, he lingered. He was always touching me, his hands were all over me, even in front of his girlfriend or my boyfriend. I would suppress suspicions by stating "He is dating, so and so, he has no interest in me" It was weird. I didn’t realize it then, only after maturing and dealing with more men I understood the tell tale signs of chubby chasers. Maybe he lost his virginity to a fat girl, maybe his favorite teacher was fat, maybe he was fat growing up. For some strange reason Ace loved every inch of me, no need to dissect the issue, it was fact. Ace wanted me. yippee. Like I said there was an open bar at the reception. I indulged but Ace was not drinker. He drank champagne for the toast but that was it. As the night went on we got more comfortable with each other and he had his arm around me and was all touchy feely. We danced like idiots, he tried to teach me how to swing dance but that was a bit too much for me. Now I do cardio and work it out but that kicking and tossing and twirling was not for me. My boobs were too big and I had on a strapless bra. I so did not want my fun bags falling out of my dress and onto the dance floor. After the swing dancing we walked outside onto the patio overlooking the water. It was so pretty and beautiful out. I mentioned that I thought I was drunk. He said in response "I think you are beautiful". I just busted out laughing cause that was so funny. It was like cornball 80's movie dialog. I am nearly pissy drunk, sweating like a slave from all the dancing, hair is in hott mess condition, and I have no shoes on. He was embarrassed and I think I hurt his feelings. I apologized and said thank you and explained why I thought it was funny. I asked if I could make it up to him with a kiss. He perked up and was like "You want to kiss me?!?". I smiled, reeled him in by the tie and planted a vodka and cranberry flavored kiss on him. It was so nice. I mean I have kissed and made out and done all sorts of violent things with another man's tongue but this didn't fell dirty or cheap. It was nice, almost fairy tale like.

Lame I know. But I just reverted to the insecure girl that yearned to be Mrs. Ace. I just let the fantasy play out, I pretended he liked me and for that night I was the girl on his arm and he adored me. The rest of the night was fun we went in and danced to "Girls and Boys" by Blur. We dominated the dance floor and received applause. He grabbed me and planted a big one on me in front of EVERYONE. I nearly pissed myself. Dude we aren't together you can't kiss me like I am yours in front of all my friends. I was upset for a second, like a nanosecond. Then dove back into the fantasy and played along. He was mine, all mine. I got stares and comments in the restroom. I didn’t care at all. I was all, it’s a wedding, people hook up, shit happens, Ace and I always had a connection, he is totally into me. I was gloating that is what I was doing. Gloating in the face of all the other bitches that were trying to snag him. I reverted to some silly bitch that was showboating my "new man". Yeah bitch that’s right Ace kissed me in front of everyone, not you, nah nah. Kiss my wide black ass. That makeup you are touching up aint gonna do you no good cause Ace is mine. *well at least for tonight* I came out of the restroom after I freshened up a bit. Pinned some hair back into place, applied some makeup and decided to take it easy for the rest of the night. I approached Ace who was sitting at the table and he pulled me onto his lap. Now ain't this something. Now Ace is not small but he aint huge. I have sat on dude's laps before but not someone as "not huge" as Ace. I sat there nervous the chair was gonna give at any minute and protesting that I want to sit in my own chair, he whispered "relax" and gave me little kisses on my back.hehe Between sitting on his legs and my strapless bra jabbing me in the ribs I was uncomfortable. The reception was winding down and I wanted to talk to the bride and groom. Ace followed and we said our goodbyes and gave hugs and took some pics. We headed back to the hotel together.

We talked about so much shit, if I went into it this entry would be 10 pages longer than it already is. I mean Ace really liked me. My personality, my body, my style, my abrasiveness. I was so flattered and confessed my liking of him as well. After all the talking I announced that I had to get out of this bra. It was gonna draw blood. He helped me undress. It was so cute. After I got out of the dress he turned me around to just look at me. I was all shy and stupid. Thank God I was wearing matching underwear and not my cotton bloomers. I had enough foresight to wear my cute lace boy shorts that looked awesome on me. My ass looked amazing in them. I felt yucky and told him I needed to shower. He followed me into the bathroom and started the bath. I returned the favor and undressed him. His body. Fuck I am going to have to change my underwear after thinking about this again. His body was amazing. He was more muscular than I thought. Hairy but not gross hairy. We make it to the shower and wash each other. Kissing and stroking and rubbing and caressing. He was so hard. I didn’t really look down at this point. I kept eye contact with him the whole time. I was sucking on his fingers while he was finger fucking me with his other hand. His rhythm was really good. I almost came but I have a problem cumming in the vertical position. It’s a sexual handicap I have. lol Anyway we were all clean and took it to the bedroom. We were all giggles and snuggles, pillow fighting and tickling. I was lying on the bed and he was standing on the edge of the bed and was just staring at me. I sat up and asked what was wrong. He said nothing, this is perfect and gently pushed me back and started to lick my clit. It took me all of two seconds to cum. I was so anxious and ready from the shower. I had to make him stop. I sat up and pull him to his feet and I got a good look at his cock. To me it was perfect. A very nice length maybe about 8 inches and curved to his left. He had a little freckle on his sack. I said it was adorable. I examined his cock. Rubbing it, kissing it, putting on a show for him. Looking up at him, he was smiling and moaning. I took him into my mouth slow at first. I wanted to tease him and not give away all my tricks. Just slowly at first, taking him in and using my hand to work the shaft. Now my rhythm is insane. He was getting weak in the knees as I started going faster and I let him get down on the bed and I go to town. Letting him go farther and farther into my mouth, faster and faster. He is about to come I can tell and I start to rub his balls. He tells me to stop. I don't. He cums, he moans, he cusses. I swallow, I laugh. I excuse myself to rinse out my mouth.
I was satisfied with my little conquest. I throw him a towel so he can clean up a bit and I get into the bed. We immediately start kissing again and open my legs and rubs my clit again, then puts his fingers inside me. I am so wet. I grab his cock to slide him in, and he asks if he can go slow for a while. I nod yes and slide him in and he makes this odd noise. I thought he hurt something but before I could ask he starts kissing me he then he tells me I feel "so fucking good". He wants to me make me cum. I get a feeling that this is more than sex to him but it could be the liquor and anticipation playing tricks on my mind. He is thrusting and making crazy eye contact and looking at me all serious and in love like. I freak out and tell him I want to turn around and I want him to fuck me. I turn around and he speeds it up a bit and gets so deep. I am aching. I know when I cum it’s gonna be one to remember. He keeps going deeper and faster and it feels so fuckin good. I don’t want to cum yet. He tells me he is about to cum. He pulls out and lies on his back and pulls me to sit on his face. haha Now this is fun. I start to feel guilty and readjust to do the whole 69 thing. I really am so good at this cause I can't focus on the dick like I really want to. I was tired of this fumbling and sucking and moaning so I ask him to fuck me till I cum. He gets on top me and grabs my legs and put them on his shoulders and fucks the hell out of me. I grab his ass and guide his hips and takes his fingers and rubs my clit and I feel it coming. The orgasm that was heard around the world. I literally erupted. It's actually embarrassing to think about it. I was so loud, I was quivering and sweating, I almost bit a hole in my lip. I pull him close to me and we kiss and while kissing he stops and cums. We were both gross! Covered in fluids and sexness.

We shower, fool around a bit more and head to sleep. It was a lot of fun. He lives far from me but we talk a lot on the phone and email, for now. It wouldn’t work anyway. My fantasy came true. What else would be left?

Really fucked up story

Well this weekend I had a wedding out of town. Nostalgia, liquor, and connected hotel rooms served for hours of entertainment. It was good times but I had a really strange and awkward Friday night.
Friday night before the wedding I drove up and didn’t really know where I was going to crash. They had gotten a string of hotel rooms and I pretty much knew all the people that had booked rooms. I planned on driving up, meeting with some folks and crashing on somebody’s extra bed. When I got there my head was pounding. I could hardly tolerate the hugs and kisses and camera flashes of friends I hadn’t seen in more than 5 years. It was so good to see everyone. Well almost everyone. There was this one kid, lets call him Fucknut. Fucknut used to be roommates with my college boyfriend. Fucknut would conveniently walk in on me and boyfriend while we were fucking. This happened at least 10 times. The first few times I thought it was an accident but then it kept happening. He would linger and stare and then be like “Oh, I’m Sorry”. My boyfriend confronted him about it, asking him nicely to be a little more “aware” of what’s going on. They even devised a signal to let the other know when one was entertaining. Fucknut ignored the signal and one night walked in on us while I was sucking my boyfriend’s cock. I was going strong bobbing for dear life and my boyfriend was on the brink and I see this bright light from the crack of the door and hear his creepy signature “Oh, I’m sorry” I dropped my boyfriend's cock and I hopped up butt ass naked, opened the door, chased him down the hall and punched him in the stomach and called him a fuckin pervert and I think I may have kicked him. My boyfriend shocked and frustrated, grabbed me and dragged me back into the room while I was still swinging. The fucker never walked in on us again.

See this kid was shady, like the type of dude that would slip you the date rape drug. When he walked into the room I almost threw up. Still tubby and greasy with ratty facial hair. He tried to hug me and I declined. No one else knew why I hated the kid. We were in the hotel bar and I was complaining about my headache and Fucknut keeps watching me. At this time I was flirting with this dude from school, Ace, that I never got around to fuck. I was always seeing someone or he was with some bitch. But there was always tension, if ya know what I mean. I kept thinking wouldn’t that be some shit if I end up fucking Ace and Fucknut walks in. Fucknut is still trying to make eye contact the entire time. I am ignoring him and Ace gets a phone call and decides to take it outside. Fucknut sees this as an opportunity to come sit by me. He starts with a little chit chat, ask me about my ex and if we still talk. Sentences and sentences later I still staring pissed off into the distance. I had forgotten about Ace by this time and wanted to retire. It was early yet but Fucknut put me in a foul mood so I asked one of my girlfriends if I could stay with her and split the room with her. She was cool with it, gave me the keys to the room, Ace comes back just in time to help me with my luggage and he walks me to the room. Ace is so hot. Bald head, not by choice, crystal blue eyes, the most beautiful teeth on a man I have ever seen. He looked like an Abercrombie and Fitch model. I was exhausted though and we chatted for a bit but I told him I would catch up with him later and he should join them downstairs. I take a shower, change into some night clothes and head to bed. I must have been sleeping for maybe two hours and I feel someone’s eyes on me. I just woke up out of my sleep. I don’t have my contacts in so shit is a bit blurry and I hear someone say “You know you snore a little?” Eh what the fuck is going on. I reach for my glasses and I see Fucknut with some shit grin on his face sitting in a chair across from my bed. Now at this point I am a bit scared shitless. How the fuck did he get in here? I go off and remind him of how I kicked his ass once and I am not shy about doing that shit again. He raises his hands and says that he knows I am interested in him. He knew that I enjoyed it when he walked in on me, and that I was putting on a show for him. I waited for him to walk in on us and he did it time and time again because he knew I got off on it. I was floored, this fucking want-to-be serial killer was sitting in my room talking this happy horse shit about me wanting him and enjoying his “advances”. He had no clue how repulsive I found him so I just had to remind him. I told him I would never let him breathe on me, never the less fuck me. He was so creepy and gross and scarey. I thought for two seconds that he was gonna try and rape me. He is like I am so hard for you, I spent hours thinking about me and you alone. The ex didn’t deserve me, I’m so hard, don’t you want to see it. HE PULLS IT OUT.
His cock. The cock is in his hand. I don’t even look I just run for the door and he tries to stop me, he grabbed me and I just kick, kick, kick. I landed a few and knocked him over. I somehow landed on the floor and had rug burn on my legs and he is curled up in a ball. I get up and I am now pissed off. I take my suitcase, and start to beat the shit out of him with it. I didn’t make a single sound. I just went to town on him. I was so angry. How dare he, I kicked his ass for walking in on me, I kicked his ass for sneaking into my room, I kicked his ass for even looking in my direction. I stopped hitting him when I snapped out it and promised him if he ever came at me again I would fucking kill him.
I ran into the lobby and go get some of the guys and they come back up to the room and they are like what the hell happened. I explained how he was in the room and I felt like he was gonna hurt me so I tried to get away and he grabbed me. Two of the guys picked him up and walked him out of the room, Ace was gonna call the cops but I didn’t want to ruin my friends wedding weekend with more drama. I just told him that if he was going to be in this hotel or be at the wedding I was going to leave right now. I couldn’t believe it. I just beat a grown man’s ass with his dick in his hand. If that don’t beat all.
I was so bruised and sore, I started crying. Ace hugged me really tight I was like mmmmm. I mean immediately my past hour just disappeared out of my head and I was this sex vixen all wound up and ready to fuck. Then I just kept seeing Fucknut in my head and I lost it. Argh! Ace just took me to his room and we laid in his bed talking about life and bullshit like that. I don’t have enough energy to type about Saturday when Ace and I hooked up. My wrist really hurts after all this typing.
Sorry for the downer but I just had to share. It was clearly the weirdest thing that has ever happened to me.

Ghost of Penis Past

After rereading some of my post and some of the comments left it got me to thinking. Upon reading my adventures one would think that I am this sex kitten that seems to only attract great lovers with huge cocks. In retrospect that is SO NOT the case. I had my fair share of how can you say....shitty lays. I have encountered freakishly small cocks, horrible humpers, ugly trolls, pity fucks, unskilled cocksmen, two pump chumps. I don't always bat a thousand, so I was thinking of throwing in a story or two, a bad lay here and there to spice things up. Now a days they are fewer and far between because if a guy isn't exactly what I am looking for at that date and time, I move on. If he is a bad kisser, he gets "nexted". And if he isn't packing what I need to get me off. I pull a morality scare and tell him I can't go threw with it. I am not some hard up cow. I much more selective with the dick than I was in college, which is when most of the horrible lays took place. There have been some more recently and I think I am gonna share one in particular.
Well I had just moved to my new city. Lived by myself in a suburb, had a great job, awesome vibrator. Life was perfect. I would go out and about and explore the city, meet random people and make connections that way but I wasn't looking for anything sexual or in the market for a boyfriend.

There was a single guy that would come into work the same time I did, EARLY!. We would catch each other on the elevator. When the weather was nice he had a helmet under one arm. I concluded he rode a motorcycle or chopper or some shit which added 2 points to his hotness meter. And to be honest in retrospect, he needed a lot more than those two I secretly awarded him. On first glance I was not interested at all. He was a bit doughy. Okay I know I am fat BUT he wasn't just overweight he was doughy. Like soft and not really well defined in his shape, almost like a woman who carries her weight in the wrong places. Now again, I didn't notice right away because under clothes people look different and I wasn't looking at him in that way. He had a motorcycle, a good job, and he wasn't that bad to talk to at first. One thing led to another. He asked me to lunch on day, and then to a happy hour another day, then to dinner, and then maybe a movie. Weeks had gone by and it had been 5 weeks of us "dating" he later refers to this stint as. He had been over to my place and we didn't kiss or anything. I really didn't think of him in that way at all. As I spent more time with him I noticed he had horrible table manners, his shape was almost sickening, he sweat just to stand up. Now this guy was not huge just husky but doughy and out of shape and ate horribly. I figured he was a friend. A FRIEND. I had no reason to judge him or try to clean him up cause I didn't want him. But co-workers warned me that he liked me a lot. He come up and search for me when I was in meetings, and would get frustrated if I went out to lunch without him. I would work out for an hour in the basement gym and sometimes he would come down and just sit with me. Watching me sweat as my titties bounced up and down. ugh! Thinking back on it makes me kinda ill, my fat doughy buddy who secretly lusted after me.
Well one day we spent all day together, we went to IKEA and bought some shit for my apartment and he wanted to help me put the shit together. NOW I am a very independent person. I fix shit up all the time by myself, I hang curtains, build entertainment units, move furniture, even have layed hardwood flooring, all by myself. I own power tools and jig saws, and paint thinner galore. I honestly am saying he volunteered to follow me around all day and then come back to my place to put the dresser together. At this point I had reduced our time we spent togethe because I was noticing the "attraction/stalker" like behavior.
Well we finished assembling the dresser and I am like okay thanks a lot. I need to get to bed, I am beat. Yawning and shit. He leans in to give me a hug good bye and he kisses me on my neck.
Fuck I thought. FUCK figgigy fuck mic hammer fuck. He pulled back and kissed me on my mouth before I could say anything and stuck his nasty tongue in my mouth. Ugh! I thought. He starts I have wanted to do that for so long. blah. My friends have been giving me courage, blah. I am so insecure, blah, I want to be your man, blah. What was I suppose to do? I felt like a slut bucket that led this doughy sweating shit stain along. He was a nice guy. NOW WARNING to everyone. If there is some guy who is a quote unquote a "Good Guy". He is really a self pitying shadow of a man filled with disdain toward women and bitterness that has the ability to be the biggest dick on the face of the planet. These passive aggressive burdens on society should be exterminated. They aren't nice because they want to be. They are nice because they HAVE to be and use this niceness so you can let them in. Well I felt bad for him and kissed back, painfully. Now when I say bad kisser I mean, his mouth felt like he just woke up from a 10 year long nap. It was cold and too spitty. I felt him get hard, he grabs my tits all hard. He says take off your pants I want to eat your pussy. Now I have let some interesting parties eat me out. I have even had gay guys eat me out purely in the interest of science. So I figured if he wants to, he can. I'll let him eat me out and then he can go home. I also was a bit turned on cause it kinda sounded sexy when he said it. Wouldn't it be awesome if he was the greatest lover in the world and I just didn't know it. He gets down there and is fuckin all sort of shit up. I think he was licking and fumbling with the wrong thing and it didn't feel good at all. I let out an "ugh!" and just took over and pulled out his cock. I will suck him off let him cum and send him home. But I am not swallowing, after seeing what this guy eats, he probably taste like spoiled milk or rotten eggs. That plans didn't work either. Ladies and gentlemen he had a doughy cock. Yup I said it. His cock was really thick. BUT it was like it was hard cock covered in layers of dough. It wasn't rock hard. It was firm and stiff but with like a soft swollen sack around it. I turned on the light to take a better look cause it seems like something was wrong with it. I decided that was not going anywhere near my mouth. It was a doughy cock. I thought maybe he was semi hard but he looked satified and proud with it. Like yup that's my cock.
I could barely get my hand around it but not in a good way. He reaches into his pants pocket and gets a condom, fumbles puts that on and is all I hope you are ready I am gonna make love to you. mmm, mmm yum yum, I don't want to tease you anymore, here I come, are you ready. I honeslty wear my emotions on my sleeve. I looked so uninterested and so NOT turned on. I almost laughed at him. I lay on my back. fiddle with my own clit as he mounts me. And we are off. Humping, humping humping, for 3 minutes and then it began to rain. Not outside, inside, not the ceiling leaking, he was leaking. Buckets of sweat began to fall from his brow. Like pellets falling and splashing on my face. I had to close my eyes cause so much sweat was getting in them. I don't think I am conveying the grossness and the gravity of the situation. It was like I was outside during a hurricane but this was not water from the heavens it was secretions from doughboy. It smelled horrible as I layed their thinking about what drawer I would put my vibrator in, or what drawer my underwear would go in. I prayed for him to cum. I mean his positioning was so unreal. He was on top of me with my head cradled by his arm and he was so close his pumps had no momentum. They were shallow slow pumps. He would randomly slap and bite and screw my nipples. I wanted to cry. CRY blood tears.
He finally was like oh, ah, oh, ah. I am gonna cum. I want to cum on you. I was like what? hell no. So he came in the condom and tried to lie there when he was done. At this point my pillow was drenched my hair was wet, I felt like I was wading in urine. I was like you have to go, right now. He got dressed as I shoved him out of apartment and slammed the door.
Ugh I can't type anymore right now. I think I have to go puke. But what followed that night hell on earth.

My rubgy boy! Yum!

God bless the undoubtedly broad shouldered, ruggedly handsome man that invented the game of rugby. Rugby players have provided me with hours of fun and hundreds or orgasms. I must say rugby guys love fat chicks. it might be due to their heavy liquor consumption. I don't know what the correlation is exactly but I have fucked a disproportionate amount of them. Not on the same team of course but as I look back on the fond fucking I have done in my life, a few dicks belonged to men that loved the sport of rugby. All where fun, fucked like champions, and had the endurance of a derby stallion.
Needless to say when I went out a few weeks back to a local spot and there was rugby team there my panties damn near slid off as soon as I crossed the threshold. I could almost smell the cocks in the air, I was almost drooling. I assured my 'gina that tonight would be a fun night. All I had to do was choose wisely. I browsed the sea of men, it was a huge sausage party, bad for them, GREAT for me and 'gina. I watch a few of them as they dance with the skinny girls with little shirts on and open toe shoes. It was raining and friggin freezing outside, you would have been an idiot to not wear a hot pair of boots. I had on a jacket with a tank top on underneath that showcased the cans nicely. All I had to do was remove the jacket and the boys would come like moths to a flame. I marinate in the corner for a little bit drinking a few vodka and cranberries when I spot this reddish blonde haired boy on his cell phone. WTF, I thought. You are in a bar, with your buddies and my boobies and you are on the phone. What a tool. I walk up to him and ask him what he is drinking. He was drinking a jim bean and coke, yuck. I noticed a bit of an accent and I inquire where he is from. New Zealand he replies and in that instant I knew this was the one I would fuck tonite. He is still on the phone, I go to the bar and get a jim bean and coke and with a little vodka courage I hand him the drink, kiss him on the mouth and say "Welcome to America". I walk away, embarrassed of what I just did but assured that it would pay off and before I could report back to my girlfriends that were pointing and laughing, I feel a firm hand on my wrist. He pulls me close to him and ask me where the hell did I think was going. Have you ever heard a kiwi say "Where the hell do you think you are going?" It was like that special language Harry Potter spoke to snakes, instead it was to 'gina. She heard him, she yielded to him. She knew this evening would end well.
Chit chat, dance dance, drink drink. We had a great time. He showed interest in me, not your typical one night stand talk but it was like deeper, hmmmf. I wasn't trying to get his biography or hear his stance on world peace. I wanted a quick hook-up, something simple and easy. It had been a while for me and 'gina was feeling neglected. I wanted him to say "Why don't you come back to my place?" or "What are your plans for the rest of the evening?" I didnt know if it was a cultural difference or miscommunication but those questions never came. I knew he didnt live alone, it was some boarding house so maybe that wasn't the right atmosphere. But I know when a guy is into me and when they want it, they could live in a tin can they would still invite you back in hopes of getting laid. Maybe he just wasn't that into me, hehe. The clock was ticking away, my friends were ready to go, and I say with more Vodka courage that I want to take him home. I think I may have even said I wanted to fuck him or something else desperate in a drunken slur. I also forget that I didn't drive and I live 30 miles away. This would be a new low using my friend's car as a nookie taxi. His reaction is shock! He tells me that he has practice in the morning and if I promise to get him back into the city by 10 am he will go anywhere I want. Agreed. what do I know. I am drunk and horned up and want some ass.
We finally arrive at my place and boy did I forget what a mess I left it. Clothes were everywhere you could barely see my floor. I was clearly less drunk at this point because of the embarrassment. I got him something to drink and we sat on the couch and talked for a long time. He was funny and getting more scrumptious as the hours went by. He was a good kisser and smelled good under the mask of booze and cigarettes. When I removed his shirt he had all these funky tattoos and a nice build. We must have made out for like another hour. Clothes on and heavy petting like we were teenagers. It was the most fun I had in a long time. I am surprised I didn't rip his clothes off as soon as we got in the door. I was over the kissing and petting and wanted to get down to business. I told him to stand up and I took off his jeans and pulled out his cock. Paydirt! I was a great looking cock. Balls not too big or hairy, not too veiny,very thick. I took him into my mouth and sucked his cock for like 2 seconds and he said he was going to cum. Drats. I was pissed it was like 6 in the morning the birds were fucking chirping and I still didn't get fucked yet. I caught a glance of myself in the mirror and saw I was still fully clothed, haha. It was so hilarious. Here is this hot dude in my bedroom, with a wet limp dick and I still had on my jacket and boots. He helps me undress and goes to town on 'gina. Did I mention she got a new wax job two days before. So she was looking her Sunday best. He played my clit like a violin, I was throbbing and moaning as he coaxed me to cum. I came and it was good. He was hard again and I was anxious to get fucked, surprise surprise. He asked if I wanted him fast or slow.
I like it both I informed him but fast is the best way to go on these type of occasions. He said he will fuck me fast until I cum and then fuck me slow to make me cum again. Blah blah, I have heard men talk up there dick game all day and then show bubkiss in the sack. He did as promised. He slammed it in and I am not lying when I say I saw stars. I must have misjudged how big his cock was cause it felt like I was getting fucked with a torpedo. He liked watching me while I sucked on his fingers while he fucked me. I wanted to be turned around but he said no. He held my hands down and fucked me until I came. I was soar and sweaty and hungry, lol. It had been hours since I ate something. I asked if he wanted something to eat. I had left over Thai food that I heated up for the both of us. I fed him like he was a hunter that came back with spoils for the tribe. I was thankful for his cocksmanship. There I was naked and satisfied, feeding a man I barely knew, looking into his eyes thinking this is nice. There was something sexy about me waiting on him and hand and foot because he was excited again and said he owed me something. He pulled me close and made love to me, nice and slow. Kissing me the whole time while inside me. Asking me if I was alright and did he feel good to me. I know we didn't know each other and I know it was just sex but the look in his eyes reminded me of that feeling when you are in love. This was sensual and different and I almost didn't feel like it was casual. He came and layed on top of me, cuddling and kissing my breast. He told me I was beautiful and I felt good, lol. Was he being nice to be sure I would give him a ride back? What was this? I began imagining things that you aren't suppose to imagine about one night stands. I kept telling myself this isn't real! Nothing comes from these things. When will you learn?
We fell asleep for a bit and before I knew it, it was time to take him back into the city. I did so, in a unattractive hooded sweat shirt and flip flops. We talked about a world of things during the 30 mile drive in. I asked why he didn't invite me to his place the night before and if I didn't say anything would he just have gone home. He said I didn't seem like the type of girl that would do this sort of thing. Huh a girl that kisses strangers in a bar. riiight. But he is greatful that I was.
anyway turns out we hang out a lot now. its been a few weeks. sex has gotten better, conversation is awesome, we do alot of stuff aside from fucking and beer funnels. dont know what to think. i just keep reminding myself that this is not real. he is cool peoples and knows how to have a good time. he holds my hand when we walk down the street. he likes the way i talk even though "my accent" was a barrier for the first few days. he leaves soon. off to california for some summer session crap. it was fun. great lovers only come around once in a lifetime. thank god for my rugby player