Ghost of Penis Past

After rereading some of my post and some of the comments left it got me to thinking. Upon reading my adventures one would think that I am this sex kitten that seems to only attract great lovers with huge cocks. In retrospect that is SO NOT the case. I had my fair share of how can you say....shitty lays. I have encountered freakishly small cocks, horrible humpers, ugly trolls, pity fucks, unskilled cocksmen, two pump chumps. I don't always bat a thousand, so I was thinking of throwing in a story or two, a bad lay here and there to spice things up. Now a days they are fewer and far between because if a guy isn't exactly what I am looking for at that date and time, I move on. If he is a bad kisser, he gets "nexted". And if he isn't packing what I need to get me off. I pull a morality scare and tell him I can't go threw with it. I am not some hard up cow. I much more selective with the dick than I was in college, which is when most of the horrible lays took place. There have been some more recently and I think I am gonna share one in particular.
Well I had just moved to my new city. Lived by myself in a suburb, had a great job, awesome vibrator. Life was perfect. I would go out and about and explore the city, meet random people and make connections that way but I wasn't looking for anything sexual or in the market for a boyfriend.

There was a single guy that would come into work the same time I did, EARLY!. We would catch each other on the elevator. When the weather was nice he had a helmet under one arm. I concluded he rode a motorcycle or chopper or some shit which added 2 points to his hotness meter. And to be honest in retrospect, he needed a lot more than those two I secretly awarded him. On first glance I was not interested at all. He was a bit doughy. Okay I know I am fat BUT he wasn't just overweight he was doughy. Like soft and not really well defined in his shape, almost like a woman who carries her weight in the wrong places. Now again, I didn't notice right away because under clothes people look different and I wasn't looking at him in that way. He had a motorcycle, a good job, and he wasn't that bad to talk to at first. One thing led to another. He asked me to lunch on day, and then to a happy hour another day, then to dinner, and then maybe a movie. Weeks had gone by and it had been 5 weeks of us "dating" he later refers to this stint as. He had been over to my place and we didn't kiss or anything. I really didn't think of him in that way at all. As I spent more time with him I noticed he had horrible table manners, his shape was almost sickening, he sweat just to stand up. Now this guy was not huge just husky but doughy and out of shape and ate horribly. I figured he was a friend. A FRIEND. I had no reason to judge him or try to clean him up cause I didn't want him. But co-workers warned me that he liked me a lot. He come up and search for me when I was in meetings, and would get frustrated if I went out to lunch without him. I would work out for an hour in the basement gym and sometimes he would come down and just sit with me. Watching me sweat as my titties bounced up and down. ugh! Thinking back on it makes me kinda ill, my fat doughy buddy who secretly lusted after me.
Well one day we spent all day together, we went to IKEA and bought some shit for my apartment and he wanted to help me put the shit together. NOW I am a very independent person. I fix shit up all the time by myself, I hang curtains, build entertainment units, move furniture, even have layed hardwood flooring, all by myself. I own power tools and jig saws, and paint thinner galore. I honestly am saying he volunteered to follow me around all day and then come back to my place to put the dresser together. At this point I had reduced our time we spent togethe because I was noticing the "attraction/stalker" like behavior.
Well we finished assembling the dresser and I am like okay thanks a lot. I need to get to bed, I am beat. Yawning and shit. He leans in to give me a hug good bye and he kisses me on my neck.
Fuck I thought. FUCK figgigy fuck mic hammer fuck. He pulled back and kissed me on my mouth before I could say anything and stuck his nasty tongue in my mouth. Ugh! I thought. He starts I have wanted to do that for so long. blah. My friends have been giving me courage, blah. I am so insecure, blah, I want to be your man, blah. What was I suppose to do? I felt like a slut bucket that led this doughy sweating shit stain along. He was a nice guy. NOW WARNING to everyone. If there is some guy who is a quote unquote a "Good Guy". He is really a self pitying shadow of a man filled with disdain toward women and bitterness that has the ability to be the biggest dick on the face of the planet. These passive aggressive burdens on society should be exterminated. They aren't nice because they want to be. They are nice because they HAVE to be and use this niceness so you can let them in. Well I felt bad for him and kissed back, painfully. Now when I say bad kisser I mean, his mouth felt like he just woke up from a 10 year long nap. It was cold and too spitty. I felt him get hard, he grabs my tits all hard. He says take off your pants I want to eat your pussy. Now I have let some interesting parties eat me out. I have even had gay guys eat me out purely in the interest of science. So I figured if he wants to, he can. I'll let him eat me out and then he can go home. I also was a bit turned on cause it kinda sounded sexy when he said it. Wouldn't it be awesome if he was the greatest lover in the world and I just didn't know it. He gets down there and is fuckin all sort of shit up. I think he was licking and fumbling with the wrong thing and it didn't feel good at all. I let out an "ugh!" and just took over and pulled out his cock. I will suck him off let him cum and send him home. But I am not swallowing, after seeing what this guy eats, he probably taste like spoiled milk or rotten eggs. That plans didn't work either. Ladies and gentlemen he had a doughy cock. Yup I said it. His cock was really thick. BUT it was like it was hard cock covered in layers of dough. It wasn't rock hard. It was firm and stiff but with like a soft swollen sack around it. I turned on the light to take a better look cause it seems like something was wrong with it. I decided that was not going anywhere near my mouth. It was a doughy cock. I thought maybe he was semi hard but he looked satified and proud with it. Like yup that's my cock.
I could barely get my hand around it but not in a good way. He reaches into his pants pocket and gets a condom, fumbles puts that on and is all I hope you are ready I am gonna make love to you. mmm, mmm yum yum, I don't want to tease you anymore, here I come, are you ready. I honeslty wear my emotions on my sleeve. I looked so uninterested and so NOT turned on. I almost laughed at him. I lay on my back. fiddle with my own clit as he mounts me. And we are off. Humping, humping humping, for 3 minutes and then it began to rain. Not outside, inside, not the ceiling leaking, he was leaking. Buckets of sweat began to fall from his brow. Like pellets falling and splashing on my face. I had to close my eyes cause so much sweat was getting in them. I don't think I am conveying the grossness and the gravity of the situation. It was like I was outside during a hurricane but this was not water from the heavens it was secretions from doughboy. It smelled horrible as I layed their thinking about what drawer I would put my vibrator in, or what drawer my underwear would go in. I prayed for him to cum. I mean his positioning was so unreal. He was on top of me with my head cradled by his arm and he was so close his pumps had no momentum. They were shallow slow pumps. He would randomly slap and bite and screw my nipples. I wanted to cry. CRY blood tears.
He finally was like oh, ah, oh, ah. I am gonna cum. I want to cum on you. I was like what? hell no. So he came in the condom and tried to lie there when he was done. At this point my pillow was drenched my hair was wet, I felt like I was wading in urine. I was like you have to go, right now. He got dressed as I shoved him out of apartment and slammed the door.
Ugh I can't type anymore right now. I think I have to go puke. But what followed that night hell on earth.